I Found a New Career

Today was another day which reinforced my hatred for shopping. I wanted what I believed was a simple find—a cardigan sweater with buttons. It had to be long enough to accommodate some of my longer tops, yet heavy enough to keep me warm at 50°.

Dad and I hit up three stores, and in each case, my suspicions were confirmed that the current fashion does not want to keep the front of my body warm. Don’t get me wrong. What I saw in each store were mostly all quite lovely, but none had buttons, a belt, or any other device to keep the sweater secured across my body so as to maintain some degree of warmth.

As we were preparing to exit JC Penney, I noticed an employee wearing exactly what I hoped to purchase, so I asked her where she had purchased it. “I got it at this store, but it was many years ago. It is impossible to find what you want anywhere, even on the Internet.”

So I guess I will have to be satisfied with wearing a sweater that I acquired from one of you . It’s warm and long, but it is looking its age, which I am guessing is somewhere between fifteen and eighteen years. That’s okay, because as Grandma would say, “Who’s waiting for me to come?” No one would care how I look as much as me. After I abandon my career as a writer, maybe I should go into fashion design, or maybe I should just purchase the open-front sweater and use a very big paper clip to secure it.

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