The Elderly Will Get This

Now that we are following the latest “suggestion” of remaining at home until the end of this next month (I am a rule follower for the most part), I am adjusting to this new world by having my groceries delivered to my home. I was excited to learn of a family connection to a fresh vegetable dealer at a nearby farmer’s market. (Is this the same feeling of euphoria one has after scoring drugs?)  After paying with cash the first week, I decided I would follow the lead of one of my kids by installing the Venmo App.

For anyone ancient like me, let me tell you that it is a way to pay for items digitally, which I finally decided would be safer for my vegetable dealer even though she assured me that she has no problem with cash.

I spent too much time the other day trying to install Venmo on my IPhone, so I sent a note to the Venmo help desk. I received a list of six suggestions. I tried all but the most drastic measure, which was to restore my phone to its original factory settings. I finally gave up and sent my Venmo customer support person the following Goodbye Jocelyn email:

Hi Jocelyn.

 I tried all your suggestions except restoring my phone. That is not happening! I do not want to spend any more time on this project by doing that and then lose all my apps, contacts, etc. 

Being someone not willing to give up without a fight, I then tried to install the Venmo app on my IPad, but I had the same problem. It gets stuck after “click next to complete linking to bank” when I tried to add a bank account.

I did not want to do this from the start, but my children made me feel old for not having the latest app. I guess I can’t blame them, because I am sure I rolled my eyes when my parents got stuck in the past.

On top of being made to feel old by my adult children, I recently learned that our government considers me elderly and in need of extra precautions even though I am not on Medicare yet unless Bernie claims victory and convinces the world that he was correct all along.

So I will go back to doing what apparently is the way to pay for things by elderly people, but in this time of worrying about glitter-sized coronavirus germs, I will wipe down my cash with hard-to-get antibacterial wipes before paying the very nice woman who is getting me fresh veggie at the local famer’s market and hope she stays virus-free.

Now I have the remainder of the afternoon to settle down in my rocking chair with my latest book before my next Zoom session with my truly elderly mother.

Thank you for taking the time to try to help me, Jocelyn.

 So long Venmo and back to the days of yore when everyone used plain old cash!

 Sincerely,

Karen B.

“Elderly” mother, grandmother, and generally-good-with-technology citizen

  And that, my friends and dear family, is a wrap!

 

 

 

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