I’m a Winner

We didn’t win the big lottery last week—the $521 million ticket which was purchased in New Jersey. Could it be that someone in our family is the lucky winner but is just deciding how to break the news to us? I am not naming names. You know who you are and you know you claimed you would share it with us.

Did I mention to any of you that I was notified earlier this week that I am the winner of $2.6 million dollars—and a brand new car—from Publisher’s Clearing House. I always thought they just showed up at your door with cameras blazing and a big fat check.

But apparently, that is not how it is done. I guess they want to ensure you are home, so they call first.

“Ma’am, are you familiar with Publisher’s Clearing House?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Then I am happy to tell you that you are a winner.”

The caller proceeded to tell me about what I had won, and then asked me to confirm the name of my town. He then told me that they would be coming by this afternoon since they were, at the time, an hour away.

I must say that I did not believe any of this for a New York minute, and I expressed my skepticism to the bearer of such happy news.

“You can’t be too careful nowadays,” I explained to him, and with that, he hung up on me. I guess I need to keep buying those lottery tickets.

P.S. Publisher’s Clearing House does not inform winners by phone. Like in their television ads, they really do show up at your house.



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