Mom 2.0

When I die, many, many years from now, at least one of you—maybe all of you—will speak at my memorial party. (Yes, party and not service!) I know I have been annoyingly providing suggestions for my obituary (lots of details but I want it to paint a picture of me too), the music (Barry Manilow among others), and thoughts on the dress code (nothing dreary).

Dad and I were watching a show on TV the other night—Grace and Frankie with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin. I particularly love Lily’s character, Frankie. The particular episode which precipitated this story was called “The Road Trip.” Frankie convinced Grace to go on a road trip in search of Grace’s old love, who Frankie was able to locate using her superior stalking skills.

Frankie said something that made me jump up and run to my desk so I could write what she said down, knowing I would forget it in the morning. It was so me—a description which I told Dad should definitely be used in my eulogy.

“I am an amateur sleuth with limited self-control and a computer.” Come one, girls. You all know this would make a great opening line at my eulogy or eightieth birthday roast. Does it not sum up me during this part of my life?

Think of all the people I have been able to find—both living and dead. Remember how I took the yearbook I found in the attic, which was from the year Dad graduated, and set out to find its owner? It did not belong to Dad.

I found the father of the owner and even spoke to him on the telephone. He told me where she was currently living, but mentioned he had not spoken to her in years.

I hung up the phone feeling happy that I had located her, yet at the same time, quite sad to hear an elderly father share this information with me, a stranger. So I took a photo of the yearbook and her diploma (which was tucked carefully inside) and mailed it to her. I got no response and concluded she did not wish to be found. Maybe she is in Witness Protection?

Anyway, the point is that I have become “the amateur sleuth with limited self-control and a computer.” So when the time comes, remember to include those words as part of my story. You will have other thoughts and memories I am sure, but you know this speaks of Mom 2.0



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