I made a little mistake the other night, and I made Dad promise not to put it out on Facebook even though I admitted it was sort of funny. Actually, it was so funny that I could not stop laughing. I then said, “It can go in my eulogy, just not on Facebook.” I even told Kelly and Mark, but again, restricted the telling of the tale.
Then I thought, I am not afraid to make fun of myself, but nobody else can unless I initiate the mockery.
Let me first defend myself by reminding you all that my vision is very bad. The error I made was done with my glasses off and my contact lenses removed—and I was tired. Those are all my excuses for what I am going to admit to you.
I decided to try a new toothpaste. It was a whitening toothpaste, and I thought I would give it a try. It is packaged in a shiny red tube—very attractive. So I grabbed my toothbrush and reached for the shiny red tube. I put plenty of “toothpaste” on my brush and shoved it into my mouth. Remember, this was a new variety to me, and I was visually impaired. I was not thrilled with the flavor, but I continued for a moment more. Then I reached for my glasses. I grabbed the wrong tube. It was not toothpaste I was using. It was generic Bengay!
“Oh, no,” I yelled to Dad after reading the label which warned to “get medical help or call poison control immediately if swallowed.”
Well, I reasoned. I spit but did not really swallow. I decided to do a little late-night research before panicking. I started typing into Google, “Brushed my teeth with,” and before I finished, Google read my mind and finished with “Bengay.” Since my mouth was not on fire, I was not vomiting, having difficulty breathing or feeling lightheaded, I believed my time had not come. I was not committing suicide by ingesting Bengay. Just to be safe, I took the suggestion of rinsing my mouth with water and drinking some milk. But was generic Bengay more toxic? Was a playing a dangerous game by not calling poison control or go to the Emergency Room? I decided to live dangerously.
Fortunately, I did not wake up at the pearly gates, but I learned the lesson to segregate my toothpaste from the Bengay. I suggest the same to all of you.