Each day, I wonder what I will write to you next. Today, I decided to write a few birthday memories. I was going to discuss a few of your more awesome parties, but then I had a conversation with Bryce over lunch today. I first asked him what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday and he told me he wanted a cake with cars. That is easy. Then we moved onto the party. “Who is coming,” I asked him next, and he proceeded to mention the names of some friends, then “Mommy, Daddy, Gigi, Pops, Bampa, Grandma.” Then he stopped and said, “Grandma Jean. Can Grandma Jean come?”
I tried to explain that she lives far away and he said again, “Can Grandma Jean come?” When I said she wasn’t feeling well, he was satisfied with that explanation. Yet that simple request evoked so many emotions in me. I felt sad knowing Grandma would never be able to come to his house for any birthday, but at the same time, I was happy and so touched that he wanted her at his party. He has spent so little time with her, yet he had felt a connection. When I brought him home, I told Kelly to ask him who he wanted to come to his party, and he said it again–“Grandma Jean.”
He first met her when we flew up when he was just four months old and then again twice the following year for Jamie’s shower and wedding. Most recently we drove up last fall, and he spent time with her at the nursing home and Uncle Mart’s house. Each time, the interactions between the two of them has been limited. Grandma is quiet now while Bryce revels in lots of activity. I figured he would remember playing with Jamie’s cat, or running in the yard with Uncle Paul or going down the slide with Jamie at the park, but it was Grandma he mentioned ahead of any of them.
I worry about my relationships with any children that Jamie and Casey may one day have, so this made me feel better. Out of sight does not necessarily mean out of mind. I want him to remember my mom—his great grandmother. Maybe he will. This is another reason I am writing these stories.